My Journey

After being well over-weight since Larkin was born, I've decided to do something that I consider dramatic. I've signed up for NutriSystem. The meals came to my door on Friday evening, but didn't start the diet until Sunday. It's been hard not to snack between meals..especially after dinner. However, I am motivated by the results that I have already seen. I have lost 4 lbs in 3 days. I haven't even been working out (although I'm fixin to hop on the treadmill right now). The meals aren't as bad as you'd think. Last night's dinner of Swedish meatballs was very good even though Jacob told me it looked like 'the bathroom'. Nice. My goal is to loose 35 lbs and that would bring me back to pre-Larkin weight. It's been extremely difficult being so over weight. It's a vicious cycle of eating poorly and feeling worthless. While I'm sure most of this is in my head, I do feel very judged by people for being so over weight. If I'm in public and I eat something healthy, I feel like people think I'm only eating it because people are looking and then if I eat something not healthy I feel like people are thinking 'should she really be eating that?' In my ward, I'm the organist and I absolutely HATE getting up and down from off the stand because I feel like people are looking at me and thinking, 'wow, she's pretty big.' I know that I shouldn't care about what people think, but it's human nature. Okay. Enough of that. I'm very excited about this process and I'll be posting weekly updates. This will also motivate me to do well.